Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him it was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough.
1. It's foreign
2. It's small
3. It has oil
I thought that was awesome, one of the better statements on the whole world situation at the moment. I've been puposely avoiding news, I'm much happier as such, but strains of it still get through. Therefore, I'm greatly ignorant of it all, with a few vague notions of rumors. Therefore, I will say no more on the subject, as I'm not educated enough to say anything.
Went to Twice Sold Tales again today. I love that store. I got 4 books for 2 dollars, how great is that. I want to just wander around that place and read random things forever. Thursday they're having a sale, definitely going to that. I ran into Jill and Anne Marie, they were on their way back from getting a kitten from Anne Marie and on the way to getting litter for it. It was so cute, tiny litte orange tabby with beautiful green eyes. I felt honored, she almost named it Thea. I miss Fred. I really want a cat, but I'm not home enough to have one. I was talking to my parents this evening, let it slip that I was going to be in town for thanksgiving. They're shocked that I'm going to be staying with Matt. I pointed out to them that when he's up here, he stays with me. Apparently that's all right with them because we have a "chaperone", i.e. Tabitha. Riiiight. Anyone who thinks Tabitha does any chaperoning needs to read Matt's recent journal entries. Wow. Anyway, the plus is that I'll be able to see my cat without sneaking over there when they're not home. And I do want to see them, too. I called them of my own free will today, I actually wanted to talk to them. Wonder of all wonders, eh?
Life is good right now. Yes, I'm a bit behind, but once I looked at it rationally and stopped focussing just on the fact that I was behind, I realized that I don't have all that much to do. I have internet, new good reading material, an amusing roommate, a boyfriend who loves me and who I love, interesting people to hang out with generally, a full stomach, and enough money to get by on.
This is switching gears a bit but not really. I was thinking recently about all the really stupid really potentially dangerous things I've done. I've accepted rides home from people, walked home really late at night, met some one I met online, rock climbed by myself, got lost in the woods, ran away from home, picked fights in middle school, fell doing circus stuff, fenced without a mask, etc etc. Yet somehow nothing bad ever happened. My worst physical injuries were a sprained wrist and a cut that bled for a long time and left a big scar, and slighty bruised ribs that healed in less than a week. I'm a bit more wary by myself at night, but nothing ever really happened. There are so many times, though, when something could have. Why was I so lucky? Whenever I get really depressed and start thinking that I really should have gotten hurt all those times, that I deserve it, I'm pulled up short by the fact that I wasn't. There must be some reason for it. That's one thing that's stopped me from killing myself. I've been saved so many times that there must be something I'm meant to do, to contribute, and somethings been protecting me thus far, how screwed would it be for me the destroy all that and kill myself? I sort of have a duty not to, so I can do whatever it is I'm supposed to. That could sound a bit arrogant, like I'm meant for something great, so god's been protecting me because I'm so wonderful, but I don't mean it as such. I don't particularly believe in god. It's just the only explanation I can come up with for having been so lucky. Let me rephrase. Because of all organized religion, the word 'god' has taken on connotations that I don't like. What I do believe is that there is something bigger than us out there, some bigger plan. I think that we are given a beginning and an ending, and how we get from one to the other is up to us. That applies to everything from the beginning and end of the world, to our individual lives. We're each here to contribute something, accomplish something. Some people get sidetracked and don't finish theirs, some people seem to have gotten sidetracked, but maybe their purpose was to teach some one else something. Or maybe we're just here to live and learn and experience. Maybe there isn't an actual set purpose. I don't know. I hope I was able to convey what I meant, but it may have gotten a bit convoluted. Oh well. C'est la vie. I think I've said enough for now, going now. I'll write later when I have news or philosophical musings.
