Whatever will be will be

Today might suck. The jury is still out, waiting to see how the next 10 or so hours turn out. It started with me being woken up by my phone. True, it meant I woke up quickly, but damn, I was in the middle of a decent dream that made sense. And now I can't rememeber it. It was a number I didn't recognize, so I ignored it. And then realized about 10 minutes later that it was the front door. It was UPS. I do not have a good track record with them, now that I don't have a car, and can't go pick it up from the place. Jill also got a package, and says the slip says they'll come back between 2 and 5, so maybe that will end well. So, now that I'm awake, I notice that the weather still sucks. It's grey and rainy and cold. Really cold. New York cold. It's a little odd. The largest november rainfall on record here- 11.something inches. The average- 5.something. Where we were last night before it started raining again- 8.84 inches. And we're only a third of the way into the month.
So then I open my laptop and check my email. There are two emails waiting for me. The good one is from one of my designer friends in nyc. But he is not offering me a job, just saying call me when you get here, we'll go out for coffee. Maybe that is code for I want to discuss work in person, not over email. But I don't think he has anything particular in mind. Oh well, it was a nice friendly little email. The other one was from the job in Brooklyn that I applied for. Excluding greeting and closing, it was this-

"Unfortunately I cannot offer you the LD position. I was not comfortable with having no "in person" interview although all your recommendations were great and I enjoyed speaking with you. When you get to NY give me a call, perhaps you can work as an occasional sub and see what the future has to bring."

Well damn. I mean, I'm not entirely surprised, she kind of indicated she had reservations about that at the beginning, but the interview went great. Really smooth and easy and I felt like I conveyed my competence and enthusiasm well. I have glowing references, and a solid resume. But I wasn't there. And I want to be there now so badly, and that just twists the knife. So now I have to motivate myself to get up and go about everything I need to do today instead of moping and feeling like who cares and the weather sucks and what's the point and I don't want to get soaking wet. Eh, it happens. I'm just really dissapointed. Remember how it seemed like everything for New York was just hovering, ready to drop into place and it all seemed like it was going to work out so well? Now it's like a breeze came along and scattered everything that was hovering. Oh well. I have a pretty good history of landing on my feet.