Rocking though the world again

Hmm. This may be too public a forum (given who reads it) but who cares. I want a boyfriend. There. I said it. Does this entry make me look desperate? Whatever. I dunno. The juggling guy has a girlfriend and I am very dissapointed by that. But not really surprised. And really, I'm leaving in two and half months. I have no time for a relationship. And I may be too picky. I dunno. The last time it was very sudden, and very right and very good. I mean, I'm glad it ended (it took me a while to realize that, but it was just about the right time) and now I want that back. That feeling. It doesn't even have to be that serious, I just want it to make me happy. Am I demanding too much there? Not that there are abundant offers at all, other than Brian periodically offering to sleep with me. Eh. We'll see. I'll just have to ignore that want for now, and see what happens when I go to New York. Which is where the Baritone is. And who the hell knows what he thinks of me or any of that. Whatever. I think I'm too idealistic about all this. Maybe I watch too many movies. But then I think back to what I had, and it was kind of like that sometimes. Not all the time, but we had our crazy romantic ideal moments. But now I've been single for a long time, and I'm a little bored with it. I like the freedom, the more time I have with my friends,and I like my own space. But I miss the company, and the comfort and the passion.
Eh. On the other hand, juggling was fanastic today (yesterday. I just haven't gone to bed yet). I learned so much. I really need to buy my own clubs. But I can (most of the time) do a three in one and start, and under the leg, and continuous doubles, and I'm sort of working on chops, and with passing, my doubles from both hands are getting better, and with everys, I can recieve bouquets, and I'm working on throwing them, and picking up during everys, and triples, and that wierd underarm-taking-handing-back thing that I don't know the name of. But I can do it. My arms hurt. Mostly my shoulders. Between this and carrying my laptop to school almost everyday, my back hates me. I need a real backpack. And I need to stretch more. Eh. Speaking of 'eh', I found out recently that I'm a quarter Canadian. Really. My dad's dad was born there. I had no idea. I think that I should b e granted dual citizenship based on this. Not that I really want to live in Canada. I just want dual citizenship somewhere.
Jill bought a car today. Weird. I like it, though. And I like that she has a car and is going to be living in my building. It's strange that she works at my school now. But it seems to be working out so far. She and I and Vanessa went to Holly's tonight and hung out and played cards and watched Fight Club and Orgazmo. It was kind of a strange night. Vanessa and I are not huge Holly fans. Not that we dislike her. Just that Holly doesn't like Vanessa, and I think Holly is on the stupid side of the fence. Also, usually hanging out at Holly's means that Jason is there, and probably Anne-Marie and Luke, and so it's a hangout-drink-a-lot-do-nothing-and-feel-your-brain-shrink kind of night. But this time it was just the four of us, which was a totally different dynamic. And I like playing cards. And we got gyros. So all in all, it was a good night. And Jill will be moving on to the fifth floor in the morning. And I will be doing some home work and figuring out how to get to my interview and what to wear. Oh boy. I'm nervous. I don't know what I should bring, like a resume or portfolio bits. I mean, they did want some one who could draft. Whatever. I'll figure it out.