Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo, so don't tell me I've nothing to do

I'm at work. I've had no boss all day. I did the first project in about half an hour. And the secons one is still in progress. The damn drawing I have printed out that I need to transfer to vectorworks is in metric scale. And it's not printed out to scale. So I've been fighting with that all day. I've basically given up on it being really accurate. It's all approximated, and that's okay. That said, I think I'm about a quarter done. Which to me, means I can take a break and write stuff here. Not that I have anything to say. Not many people are at work today, so the whole wandering away from my desk to socialize thing isn't going very well. I think I might leave early and go buy more books. That always wakes me up a little. The problem with working in here by myself (aside from the crazy muttering and the no-windows) is that I use headphones, and after 6 hours with them on, my ears ache and I take them off. But then I have nothing to listen to.
I got a check from work today. For 50 cents. I have no idea what it's for. I have no recollection of doing 2 minutes of work and turning in a timesheet for it. And it doesn't say anything else. Who knows. I'll go visit a gumball maching in celebration.
Anyway- a list of things that should be real products or things-
1. Ferule replacement kits
2. Cheese dispensers, like pez, but cheesier (ha!)
3. Scale rules that have both metric and imperial
4. Anti-gravity boots. Or belts. Either one
5. Miniature housepet cows. Slightly bigger than cats. You could have a herd of them in your own suburban backyard
6. Melting clocks
7. A Neverending book. For real.