...And I'm going down

Hell. I am in hell, I tell you. It's not that bad. But good god. Yesterday was good. Yesterday I juggled for 3 hours. Yesterday there was hope in the world. And today I am making semi-serious doomsday statements.
To sum up- Anne-Marie is here. Did I mention that she has only 800 dollars? Did I mention that she thought she was staying with me, despite the fact that she never actually asked? Did I mention that I am really angry and frustrated and don't want to live with her? Because it's true. And lets add to it that she never gave me her flight number, so I got up at 6 15 so I could get to the airport by 8, when her flight was supposed to land, but of course it was delayed and didn't land till nearly 9. I told here that I was worried, and that I can flounder on my own, but not with her floundering next to me. She agrees, but wants to wait till tomorrow to panic. Sure. Fine. My dad thinks I should put her on a plane back to Oregon. I hate this. Why do I feel responsible for her? I'm not. I should have been more upfront with her about my reservations, though. I know that she would have just run them over (which she kind of did, eventually) in which case I would be saying more that I wish I had stuck to my guns. I need to find an apartment soon. Like, in the next couple days. I have a few leads. I'm going to look at one today, in an hour. But, ummm. She can't afford the deposit and all. Oh shit. Who the hell knows. I kind of want to just be a total bitch and hide and not answer her phone calls and find my own place. But that would be a terrible thing to do. I have to at least tell her if I'm planning on doing that. I really need to get over this aversion to 'dissapointing' people. It's really starting to shoot me in the foot.
But I juggled yesterday, for 3 hours straight. And while it wasn't the Seattle group, it was pretty cool.